Monday, April 8, 2013

General Conference and Believing

 (My 1st post which I thought I deleted and just found it)

If you read this blog regularly you will know that I struggle with and have doubts with a lot of the churches teachings.  I am a convert, and I have read multiple history books, and found out all the good and bad of the church, and knowing both the good and bad, I still am and always will be a Mormon.  Even though I'm a fully converted Mormon, I still struggle with my doubts. That is what I want to talk to you about today.

General Conference was this past weekend, and as I was watching I had written a question in my journal. It stated: "How can I know that I'm okay even though I don't KNOW fully all the teachings of the Gospel?"  That questions was followed up by "How can I increase my Faith?"

Those were the only 2 questions I wanted answered.  As General Conference was on Saturday and Sunday, I was getting down at the fact that no one had said anything about my questions.  Finally the last session on Sunday afternoon started and Jeffrey R. Holland got up to speak.  I was so excited as he was the Elder that I had met just a month before this.

As he stood, I was instantly filled with the same feelings of peace, love, and kindness, as I was the day I hugged him.  He is truly a man of God, and I KNOW that.  He started speaking about "Believing".  It was a subject that is very near and dear to my heart, for I believe that the church is true, I just don't know 100% that everything is true, but I believe that God will teach me.

His talk was all about how your doubts and questions are valid, and when they come up you need to address them and get them answered.  He also spoke about how we are not evil or bad people if we have thoughts.  We need to focus 1. on what we know and believe and 2. be true and have integrity to the faith and knowledge you do have.

The last little while I haven't posted on the Mormon Housewife because I have been struggling with worrying that I wasn't a good Mormon because I don't believe all of their teachings, but his talk spoke to my heart and confirmed to me that I am a good Mormon, and that my Heavenly Father is not only pleased with me, but that he loves me.  Because of my knowledge and desire to learn more and grow my faith, he is willing to teach me, and I will soon have my questions answered in his time, if I remain faithful.  It was a talk that taught me so much about who I am, and so much more about the love that my Father in Heaven has for me.

I want each of you to know that if you have questions and doubts, that it is okay.  You are not evil and bad for having these concerns.  They are valid, and they are important to you.  Seek out those leaders that can help you answer your questions, and lead you on the path that you so desire.  If the desire in your heart is good and pure, your father in Heaven is going to teach you and show you the things that you need to know so that you can be comforted in your faith.  Continue to have faith and pray, and know that he will answer you in his time, and as he see's fit. 

Pray for strength and he will strengthen you.

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