Monday, July 22, 2013

My Bishop's Eyes

I had a very tender moment yesterday.  I have done a lot of bad things in my life.  I have made a lot of wrong decisions.  I have hurt a lot of people, and led a lot of people away from the truth.  I have used a lot of bad language, went to a lot of parties I shouldn't have been at, and hung out with people I should have never gone with, but I came back.  No matter what I've done in my life, what I'm doing right now is the most important.

Yesterday as I sat in my Bishop's office we were chatting and in the middle of a conversation as we were talking about the 12 years I was inactive, he looked in my eyes and the spirit filled my soul. He said, "Jill, you can't imagine the joy that your parents have now that you are back in the church. You have blessed their lives more than you will ever understand because of who you are now." 

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held it together.  What was the most amazing to me, was the spirit I felt within my soul.  It confirmed to me that what he was saying was true.  It made me happy and meant the world to me, especially because my parents have gone through a difficult time the last few years.  So to know that they way I live my life now brings them "Joy" means the world to me.  For me to know that they love me and respect the way I live is so important to me.

Every child wants to please their parents.  Every child wants the approval of their parents.  For a long time I tried to say that I "didn't care" or that it "didn't matter" to me, but I was lying.  Now it probably shouldn't matter what your parents think of you, because all that really matters is what God thinks of you, but everyone cares what their parents think.  So to know that my parents found peace and joy with the woman I have become brought me such happiness and joy.  In their times of trial, and hardships, at least I know I brought them a little happiness because of the life I am living.

I'm thankful for the way my Bishop follows promptings to say things to me.  He probably didn't think anything of what he said to me, but he has no idea what it meant to me.  I'm so thankful that he lives his life by the spirit because I was blessed because of it.  I hope I can live my life by the spirit always, so I can bless someone in this life, just as I have been blessed.

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