Thursday, September 12, 2013

Be Happy with Your Life

I have a dear friend that is constantly complaining about how much she has to do, and all of the different ways she is being pulled.  As I was talking with her today she was almost in tears because she felt like she never had any time to do the things that she wanted for herself.  After she had told me everything that was going on, I was prompted to tell her something.  I simply said, "Your life is how it is because of you. You choose what to put in your life, therefore you are in control of your life. It's up to you to be Happy with you Life."

As women we put it on ourselves that we need to do everything that everyone asks of us.  It's difficult for us to tell anyone no.  It is actually innately inside of us to have feelings of charity.  I can't remember which apostle said this (so don't quote me) but he said that "Women naturally have feelings of charity towards others."  You don't need to beat yourself up because you want to naturally help others in this world, or make other people happy.  You do need to decide how much you can do though, and leave time for you.  Only you can choose to have a happy life.

When I was younger (and not ill), I went constantly.  There were days that I didn't sleep because I was constantly doing things for others (it probably also had something to do with my bipolar, but that's besides the point.)  I never told anyone no, and therefore never had anytime for myself.  I always over committed to everyone, and in the end I felt like I wasn't in control of my life.  I was constantly consumed with my real estate customers, and if they were happy.  I sent out hundreds of Thank You cards a week to people, and I put hundreds of miles on my car go, go, going.  I was exhausted all the time, and never felt rested or at peace.  I never knew that I was doing it to myself.  I thought that this was just adulthood, so I should suck it up and do it.  Little did I know that EVERYTHING would change once I got sick.

When I became ill in 2009 I was working a full time job, being a full time wife, going to school, and had a calling in my church.  I got sick literally overnight.  One day I was at work, came home and made dinner, and 30 minutes later ended up in the emergency room, and had surgery later that night.  I didn't get better after either.  I ended up living in the Hospital for months.  I remember going crazy inside because "Who was going to do my job?"  "Who is going to make Dave's lunches?"  "Who is going to teach for me at church?"  No one could possibly do the things that I did.  It was all up to me.  Guess what?  The world didn't stop when Jill couldn't get out of a Hospital bed.  My job found a new agent to take my place, the church found a new person to teach, and Dave learned how to cook.  I was forced to take a step back and allow my life to stop.  I had to focus on Jill for the 1st time in years, and it was hard.  I learned what happiness was, and trust me, it wasn't selling houses, making money, making sure my house was spotless for whomever to come over, and it wasn't in making sure I had baked cookies for the neighborhood.  True happiness was found in lying in a Hospital bed talking to my husband.  Happiness was calm, peaceful, and slow.

Now, 4 years later a lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same.  I haven't been able to go back to work because I'm not well enough.  I have learned to say no to people. I have learned to accept help instead of always feeling like I have to give it.  I have learned that people will love me even in the slow moments of life.  I have learned that Dave can cook sometimes, that my visiting teaching might not get done every month, that my house is not spotless everyday, and that loads of laundry waiting to be folded can sit for weeks, and it's all okay.  The world is not going to fall a part or stop turning.  I have learned to enjoy the calm, and slow moments in my life.  Even though I was forced to slow down, I'm grateful I did; because I have learned what true happiness is.

Last night my husband and I were sitting in bed together just talking.  I enjoyed the peaceful feeling of his love, and the power of his faithful priesthood.  This was happiness.  Being with the person I love most in this world, and enjoying doing nothing at all.  I was at peace, things were calm, and I was with my best friend.  There was no other place in the whole world that I would've rather been.  No real estate deal could ever be better then sitting there talking to Dave.  To have moments like last night, I would trade every single house I've ever sold.  Money, dishes, cleaning, lessons, home teaching, church, school, none of it mattered last night.  The only thing that was important was sitting there with my sweetheart.  Something I would've never been able to do 5 years ago.  I'm so thankful that my Father in Heaven made me slow down and enjoy life the way it was meant to be.

When I told my friend what I told her, she sat there and tried to make excuses.  She tried to tell me that it had to be done. If she didn't do it nobody would, and you know what?  She may be right.  It might not get done if she doesn't do it, but it doesn't matter. The only things that matter in this life are our Father in Heaven, his plan for us, our families, and how we treat others.  

The Gospel teaches us to love one another.  Sometimes we take this to mean that we have to cure every one's problems, do every one's chores, and make everything all better.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  It doesn't matter how many people we have taken dinner to, or if my yard looks better than my neighbors.  It doesn't matter if someone knows that I spent $900 or $10 on my shoes.  It doesn't matter if my house is cleaner than yours, or if I have dinner done every night for my family.  None of these things matter, even though we place value on them.  In the big scheme of things God doesn't care if our flowers are watered, or if our grass is greener than the Jones family next door.  God cares about how we treat the Jones family.  God cares about how we treat our own family.  And most important, God cares about how we treat ourselves, and if we never leave anytime for "us" then we're not living the life that God wants us to live.

Now I'm not saying that if your day is jam packed that you can't be happy, or that you're in the wrong.  If you choose to live that way and it brings you happiness and peace, then that is all that matters.  As long as you are happy, and living the way that your Father in Heaven wants you to, than you are going to have happiness.  What I'm saying is, that if your day is jam packed with things that you don't want to do, or that cause you anxiety, stress, depression, or sorrow, then only you can change that. You're the only one that can choose to be Happy with your Life.  

God has a unique plan for each one of us.  He knows each one of us so perfectly.  He knows that I'm not capable of working everyday 9 to 5.  He knows that I'm not capable of having the responsibility of holding the priesthood.  Just like he knows that I am capable of all the beautiful and wonderful powers that being a woman holds.  He designed a life specifically for me; as a beautiful, talented, thoughtful, and faithful, Daughter of God.  He put me on this earth for a reason, and it isn't to see how many casseroles I can deliver.  It's to love others as he would, to teach people about the Gospel and how much their Savior loves them, and to be an ambassador of Christ. 

He put me on this earth to love and support my husband in his priesthood, family, and work callings.  He put me on this earth to honor my husband, therefore having him honor me as the beautiful Woman that I am.  He put me on this earth to be a wife to Dave, and to love him more than any other person on this earth.  He wants me to stand by his side and be his equal, not his helper.  Dave and I are together for a reason, and the main one is to find happiness, peace, comfort, and joy in the love that we have for one another.  That is why I am on this earth.

I don't know why you're here, only you can ask God to direct you in your life.  He's the only one that can teach you what you are here to do, and to allow you to have all the happiness that each Child of God deserves.  It is up to you, and you alone to be Happy with Your Life.  The way to find it is through our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ.  We must choose his path, and choose to be Happy.

1 comment:

  1. Jill, you are wise beyond your years! I love reading your blog!